What Do Words Have to Do with Childhood Obesity?

Our children depend on us in every area of life, especially when it comes to their health and nutrition. From their first day on earth, and some would say even in the womb, we nourish them emotionally and physically. We also mediate between them and the world and shape their worldview. It is no wonder, then, that they take every sentence and statement for granted. Every comment can affect children's behavior and, of course, changes in behavior. That is why it matters to understand that we sometimes make statements that may seem contradictory and confuse them, particularly about nutrition and childhood obesity.

What are the common things we, as parents and educational staff, say, and how do they influence children's behavior?

The statement: Finish your plate first, then you can have a sweet.

What do children understand? That only a child who finishes everything on the plate is good, regardless of fullness, preferences, or taste. Also, that a sweet is always a reward for good behavior.

How does this affect children's behavior? Such a statement may encourage excessive sweet consumption, eating beyond the body's needs, using sweets to compensate for a bad mood, and the most concerning outcome: childhood obesity.

The statement: My darling, you have gained so much weight. How will you find a boyfriend or girlfriend like that?

What do children understand? This is often said during a visit from a loving grandmother who also brings her beloved grandchildren plenty of sweets or homemade cakes and makes sure they have eaten everything she brought. In that case, it sends a confusing double message: children should be "good grandchildren" and honor the effort their grandmother made to bake or buy delicious things for them. Eating is polite behavior that honors Grandma, but at the same time, they must remain slim and beautiful so they can eventually find a partner and be happy, and Grandma is concerned about that, too.

How does this affect children's behavior?Such a statement may encourage the development of eating disorders, such as extreme dieting, bulimia nervosa, or anorexia nervosa, heaven forbid.

The statement: Ugh, I ate so much. I will make up for it by walking, running, or doing some other exercise.

What do children understand? That eating is a sin requiring atonement, that exercise is punishment for bad people who sin, and that life moves between sinful pleasures and self-punishment.

How does this affect children's behavior?Children may become accustomed to disliking exercise or any other physical activity. Their relationship with eating may become distorted instead of seeing it as an ordinary pleasure that meets the body's basic needs. Behavior may also shift toward unbalanced eating that swings between extremes such as overeating and avoiding food.

The statement: I ate, or "stuffed myself," like a cow.

What do children understand? That eating is an animal activity, that respectable people do not eat like animals, and that eating a lot or eating a fattening food is repulsive, disgusting behavior requiring self-reproach or punishment.

How does this affect children's behavior? Missing

The statement: I am so fat. It is embarrassing for people to see me like this. I have to diet before the event.

What do children understand? That being fat means being ugly, and that what we show guests at events has nothing to do with reality. Also, that before special events we make special efforts to put ourselves on display for guests and relatives, because the body must be different from how it looks and functions in ordinary life.

How does this affect children's behavior? Children may become accustomed to the idea that there are situations in which lying and presenting an embellished picture are acceptable, and that appearance deserves excessive concern. A more troubling possible outcome is that children view crash diets as legitimate, which may lead to childhood obesity, and of course adult obesity, or other health disorders.

The statement: Is that all we are serving our guests?

What do children understand: It might be the father glancing at the table before guests arrive and asking the question, while the mother responds by running back to the kitchen to prepare more dishes, arriving at the gathering exhausted and worn out. She also feels guilty for not having prepared enough in time. Of course, the situation can involve other family members. Children may learn that good hosting means stuffing guests with enormous quantities of food and that people can be controlled and manipulated through food.

How does this affect children's behavior? Missing

The statement: I am so tired. I need something sweet.

What do children understand: A mother or father might say this at the end of an exhausting day, then sit down with a hot drink and a handful of cookies, chocolate, or ice cream, while the children wonder, "Why do they not go to sleep, and why are we the only ones sent to bed when we are tired?" The statement may be understood as parental dishonesty and as the mistaken message that "when you are tired, you gorge on something sweet."

How does this affect children's behavior? It can signal to children that they should ignore bodily needs and disregard the inner voice saying that we sleep when tired and eat when hungry. The direct continuation of this behavior is ignoring feelings and sensations, using food to meet other needs, and, more concerning, developing problems such as constipation and obesity.

The statement: "Eat, darlings. I am not hungry."

What do children understand: When a parent serves the children a meal but does not sit down with them to eat properly, then snacks on leftovers from their plates, the message is that children's needs come before their parents' and everyone else's. Children may also ask why they are forced to eat at family meals even when they say they are not hungry, and feel that parents use double standards or, worse, lie. Another message is that "leftovers must be eaten": food must not be thrown away and should be eaten even when you do not really want it.

How does this affect children's behavior? By causing confusion, creating a distorted worldview, making it harder to respond to bodily needs, and encouraging eating regardless of actual hunger or fullness. It may also encourage childhood obesity or a desire for extreme dieting.

This is general news information and is not a substitute for personal advice from a doctor or dietitian.