Laughing in the Safe Room: How Israeli Humor Helps in Uncertain Times, and When It Stops Helping

The siren has not even stopped, and the first one has already arrived. A meme in the family group, with a cat sitting in a mamad, an Israeli residential safe room, looking as though it has seen everything. Then another, and another. Someone writes, "Nobody does it like us," someone else sends a crying-with-laughter emoji. Outside, it is still unclear what happened. Inside, something has already settled a little.

This is no coincidence, and it is not frivolity. Humor is one of humanity's oldest ways of confronting uncertainty. But not every laugh does the same work, and there comes a point when a joke stops protecting us and starts concealing something.

The joke that arrives before the official announcement

When information is missing, the brain looks for control. A joke offers a kind of control: it takes a threatening situation and puts it into a small framework, with a beginning, middle, and punch line. Someone laughing about a crowded safe room is not dismissing the danger, but reminding themselves that they are still the one telling the story.

There is also a social side. A joke sent to a group is a way of asking, "Are you okay?" without asking it. The response, even if it is only "haha," says: I am here, I heard you, we are together. Sometimes that is the whole message.

What researchers found in wartime humor videos

Ariel University researchers Nili Steinfeld, Hananel Rosenberg, and Michal Mahat-Shamir analyzed 257 humorous TikTok videos by Israeli creators from the first two months after October 7, and interviewed seven content creators. The study was published in August 2025 in Frontiers in Psychology.

The findings are interesting precisely because of what was relatively scarce. About three-quarters of the videos aimed to boost morale, and about half used self-directed humor. Dark humor appeared in only about 7.7%, which the researchers interpreted as reflecting creators' caution. In interviews, creators described humor as a defense mechanism, a form of self-care, and a way to gain emotional distance. They also described boundaries they set for themselves: timing, possible harm to vulnerable viewers, and effects on the country's image.

It is important to remember what this study does and does not do. It describes videos on one platform during a defined period, and what their creators said about them. It does not measure whether viewers felt better. But it shows that even amid the turmoil, Israeli humor was not entirely unrestrained. It had rules.

Not every laugh works the same way

Psychology commonly distinguishes between humor styles. Some humor connects people, and some helps a person see the amusing side of a difficult situation. In contrast, aggressive humor laughs at others' expense, while self-defeating humor puts oneself down to gain acceptance.

A meta-analysis by Feng Jiang and colleagues, published in 2020 in Frontiers in Psychology, brought together 85 studies with more than 27 thousand participants. The first two styles were associated with higher psychological well-being, and the latter two with lower well-being. Associations were weak to moderate, and they were correlations, not proof that laughter caused the difference. Even so, the direction is clear enough to ask a simple question: is this joke bringing me closer to people or pushing me away from them?

Israeli self-directed humor: when it embraces and when it scratches

Israelis like laughing at themselves. At the lines, the arguments, the group where everyone is a security expert. Most of the time, this is shared humor: we laugh at "us," and everyone belongs. That is different from someone constantly joking about themselves, their anxiety, or how they are "falling apart again" so that nobody genuinely asks how they are.

The distinction is subtle, but you can feel it. After the first kind of joke, continuing the conversation is usually easier. After the second, the conversation shuts down. If you recognize the second pattern in yourself or someone close to you, it may be worth asking one serious question, quietly, after the laughter.

A meme, a WhatsApp group, and a boundary

A good meme compresses an entire idea into one picture and one sentence. That is why it spreads quickly, and why it can hurt quickly too. What is funny in a group of army friends may sound entirely different in a group that includes a bereaved family, a frightened child, or someone currently serving in the reserves.

Collections such as pro-Israel memes in Hebrew show how broad the range is: jokes about life in Israel and Jewish identity appear alongside memes challenging how the world covers Israel. The same visual format can strengthen a shared sense of belonging within a group or serve as a tool in an argument with outsiders. Before forwarding one, pause for a second: whom am I sending it to, and how will they feel reading it now, not tomorrow?

There is also the question of truth. A meme that looks like a news item can spread false information without anyone intending it. If a joke rests on a fact, particularly figures or a quotation, check it before sharing. If the groups already overwhelm more than they soothe, it is also worth reading about news overload during a tense period.

When laughter stops working

Laughter can help you get through a difficult evening. It does not replace sleep, conversation, or help. If the jokes continue but sleep does not return, alertness does not ease, or the body reacts to every loud noise even weeks after an event, that is a sign to take the situation seriously. Even understanding what happens in the sky during a siren can help the body settle more quickly. Stress reactions after a threatening period are expected and usually ease with time. When they persist and interfere with functioning, contact your family doctor or your health fund's mental health services. For emotional support, contact ERAN at 1201, and for distress related to war and terrorism, NATAL at *3362.

The next joke will probably arrive before you finish reading. You can laugh wholeheartedly. Just notice what it does after the smile passes: if it leaves you a little closer to other people, it has done its job.

This is general information and is not a substitute for personal advice from a mental health professional or a doctor.